Of Lies and Closed Eyes
by Lance Corporal Chanyeol
Summary: Exo (band). "It's easy, right? If you close your eyes, you can almost feel like it's not me. When you close your eyes, you can almost pretend that I'm her." Baekyeol angst.


A/N: I kept listening to Bastille's Pompeii while writing this, hence the familiarity of some lines. If you listen to the song, you'll know what I'm talking about.

* * *

Baekhyun didn't know how he found himself in between Chanyeol's legs, the younger looking down at him while Baekhyun took Chanyeol's cock in his mouth.

That was a lie. Baekhyun knew exactly how he found himself in his current situation. He had taken advantage of Chanyeol's weakness to get him there, after all.

The shallow puffs of air escaping Chanyeol's lips should have been enough proof that he was very much turned on, if not just the mere fact that he felt rock hard inside Baekhyun's mouth, but it just wasn't enough for the shorter male.

He gave the length a final suck, letting his teeth lightly scrape against the sensitive skin, making Chanyeol moan out. _Good_, Baekhyun thought.

He stripped off his own pants, his boxers following right behind. He stepped out of them and sat down his bare rump on Chanyeol's lap. He pulled off the black bandana around Chanyeol's neck, only to replace it over the taller guy's eyes.

"Baek, what—?" Chanyeol demanded, trying to stop Baekhyun's hands.

Baekhyun hushed him while he finished tying the knot behind Chanyeol's head. "So you won't see that it's me."

Chanyeol didn't get the chance to reply because Baekhyun was already positioning his tight entrance over Chanyeol's swollen member, not bothering to prepare himself. He knew that their sudden disappearance wouldn't go unnoticed by the others, so he opted not to stall.

He pushed himself down, slowly taking in Chanyeol. He heard a groan of pleasure escape Chanyeol, but Baekhyun was too busy biting down his own cries of pain. When Baekhyun had the full length in, he had to hold on to Chanyeol's shoulders to keep the both of them steady.

He didn't move for a few seconds, already feeling the strain because of their position. When he deemed that he had wasted enough time already, he slowly picked up his hips and brought himself down again.

There was an initial shot of pain, but was soon replaced by pleasure as every downward thrust allowed Chanyeol's cock to hit the sensitive bundle of nerves inside Baekhyun. He dig his fingers into the younger man's shoulders, his movements becoming erratic and almost desperate.

He was indeed very desperate.

He took hold of his own neglected cock and jacked himself off, feeling his stomach tighten pleasantly. His body had long since gone on auto-pilot mode, his hips bucking wildly and now his hand pumping his length with no set pace.

Baekhyun came first, spilling white liquid all over his hand. His walls clamped down on Chanyeol and the latter whimpered, grabbing Baekhyun's ass as he rode out his own orgasm.

Baekhyun stood up, letting Chanyeol's dick slide out of him. He grabbed a handful of tissues and cleaned up the both of them best as he could. When he had both of their cocks tucked in their respective pants, he took off the blind fold.

He bit down tears. He shouldn't be self-pitying because he had been the one to initiate this. He had been the one to propose the idea to Chanyeol. He had been the one who wanted to be fucked by his best friend inside a bathroom stall.

"It's easy, right? If you close your eyes, you can almost feel like it's not _me_. When you close your eyes, you can almost pretend that I'm _her_."

* * *

"Baek, I'm sorry."

But Chanyeol shouldn't be sorry, and Baekhyun shouldn't be crying. He should have known that it was bound to happen someday, should have been _waiting_ for it to happen ever since the first time they had sex. He brought it upon himself; he didn't have the right to make Chanyeol feel guilty.

Chanyeol rarely spoke during sex, but the way _her_ name rolled off his tongue while he kissed Baekhyun made the older male reel back. It escalated to their current situation, both still naked with Chanyeol looming over Baekhyun's crying form but not daring to touch him.

He had his face hidden in his hands, and when Baekhyun pulled back and saw his naked form, he felt his stomach twist.

"Baekhyun, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have agreed to this in the first place—," Chanyeol was saying, but Baekhyun couldn't take it anymore. He ran out of their room, not even bothering to put on clothes, and went straight to the bathroom.

He slumped down, emptying his stomach's content in the toilet and kept heaving until he couldn't anymore. His legs shook as he stood up, heading for the sink. He washed his mouth and stared at his reflection, suddenly feeling like he could vomit again.

He was disgusted of himself.

He went for a shower, not caring that he didn't bring anything with him such as clothes or even a towel. He kept thinking of all the things he shouldn't have done; he should have not offered his body like that to Chanyeol in the first place; he should have never let Chanyeol kiss him; he should have not cried because Chanyeol called the name of the girl he loved and; Baekhyun should have not fallen in love with Park Chanyeol.

He had soiled everything between him and Chanyeol with his _love_.

* * *

For weeks, they avoided each other like the plague. Or better yet, Baekhyun avoided Chanyeol, even when the latter tried talking to him.

One time, Junmyeon had cornered Baekhyun, demanding to know exactly what the problem was.

"Did Chanyeol do something to you?" their leader had asked him.

Baekhyun had shaken his head 'no'. If anything, it was him who did something to Chanyeol.

"Then why have you been avoiding him? Why now when Chanyeol needs you the most? You know what happened with—," Suho was saying, but had Baekhyun cut him off.

"Please, hyung. I don't want to talk about him and I don't want to talk about _them_." He had left when he had seen a confused look cross Suho's face.

It wasn't just their leader who noticed, but so did their other band mates. Baekhyun felt how everyone watched them with observant stares that they tried to hide (but failed miserably). He knew that they thought that Chanyeol was the one in the wrong, like he usually was. He even heard Suho trying to lecture Chanyeol who was just silently taking in everything. Although guilty, like he always was, Baekhyun had just walked away.

He could see how cautious they were around Chanyeol and him, as if they were expecting a fight to break out at any given time. Annoyed beyond his wits, he once snapped and glared at Sehun who scampered away.

Baekhyun knew that they were only concerned, but their concern was mostly directed at the wrong person. They shouldn't be concerned about him, but for the damage that he had brought upon Park Chanyeol, his _best friend_.

* * *

After weeks of not talking to each other, Baekhyun decided that his little crying fiasco had most certainly ended it. Following this, he knew that he was no longer allowed to touch or have a taste of Chanyeol anymore. Heck, he shouldn't even be allowed to look at the other guy, much less share a room with him, but his request to change rooms was shot down.

So there he was, lying on his side on his bed, trying to become one with the wall. His back faced Chanyeol's bed, where he could hear the taller male breathing. It was a few minutes after everyone declared lights out when he felt his bed dip because of the added weight of another person and a hand snaking around his waist.

Baekhyun let out an audible gasp as he felt someone snuggle into his frame, feeling the heat of Chanyeol's body. He felt kisses being pressed on his back, on his shoulders, and he shuddered involuntarily.

Chanyeol's low voice shattered the silence. "Baekhyun, I need you."

Baekhyun found himself facing Chanyeol, because how could he say no when Chanyeol said that he needed _him_?

He found himself treading shaking fingers through Chanyeol's hair, because how can he not when Chanyeol was staring at him like that?

He found himself using his other hand to cup Chanyeol's cheek, because how could he stop himself when Chanyeol leaned into his touch?

Baekhyun found himself kissing Chanyeol, and how could they ever stop when Chanyeol was kissing him back like his life depended on it?

To say that he found himself feeling intoxicated was an understatement. His mind was starting to get foggy when Chanyeol slid a hand under Baekhyun's shirt, caressing the smaller man's skin. He felt fingers play with his nubs and he moaned into the taller male's mouth.

Chanyeol was the one to break the kiss so he could pull off Baekhyun's shirt. It was tossed away and Baekhyun tugged on Chanyeol's shirt, wanting it removed too. Chanyeol complied, latching his lips to Baekhyun's once he was shirtless as well.

Their kiss was wet and sloppy, with tongues battling for dominance and teeth painfully biting down on each other's lips. When Baekhyun pulled back for air, Chanyeol only moved his lips to his jaw, tracing down kisses until the other found his neck. Chanyeol kissed and sucked on the skin there, hard enough to leave marks that the other members would surely see. He would be forced to wear turtlenecks.

Chanyeol's hands kept roaming, eager to touch and to fondle. It found Baekhyun's crotch and started palming him through the thin cloth of his pants.

Baekhyun bit down on Chanyeol neck when he felt his pants, along with his underwear, being pulled down. They too were tossed aside and Chanyeol went down on him, giving his swollen cock a few experimental licks before taking it in his mouth.

"Shit," Baekhyun whispered, throwing his head back, but Chanyeol didn't want that. He dug his fingers on the inside of Baekhyun's thighs and made the older male look straight at him. They stared at each other as Chanyeol bobbed his head up and down on Baekhyun's length.

Baekhyun could tell that this was the first time that the taller male ever gave a blowjob, what with his messy way of doing it, but it felt great for Baekhyun. He had to push Chanyeol back because he knew that he wouldn't be able to stop himself from coming right then and there if Chanyeol kept breathing down on and sucking him like that.

The younger male took the action as his cue to start preparing Baekhyun, so he got up and went to retrieve the lube from Baekhyun's drawer. Before climbing back up on the bed, he hastily removed his pants so he was left in his boxers.

Anticipation shot through Baekhyun's veins at the sight of Chanyeol lubricating his finger. He felt that finger prod at his entrance and it soon entered him. Within a few thrusts, Chanyeol was already pouring lube over another finger and that was also added into him. Chanyeol's other hand shot up and his fingers roughly played with Baekhyun's lips.

"Suck," the taller male ordered, and Baekhyun complied. He sucked at the appendages, rolling his tongue through each finger. He felt another one being added inside his lower region but he kept his own ministrations. He watched Chanyeol's face as it clouded with wanton lust as the latter watched Baekhyun.

Then all the fingers were being pulled out and Baekhyun whimpered, earning a chuckle from Chanyeol. "So impatient."

Baekhyun shuddered at the sound of Chanyeol's low voice and he almost came just from hearing it. He watched Chanyeol lather the lubricant over his cock, giving it a few pumps before he aligned it to Baekhyun's entrance.

Baekhyun saying "Do it" was all Chanyeol needed to hear before he plunged in into the heat that the older male offered. He didn't move for a while, waiting for Baekhyun to grow accustomed to being stretched again, but he could only wait so long. Without a warning, he pulled back and slammed into the smaller guy again.

Chanyeol started off with a slow pace, like he was relishing in the velvety feeling surrounding his member. Soon enough, he picked up on speed until he was almost mercilessly pounding into Baekhyun.

Baekhyun's eyes rolled back into his head, tremors of pleasure wracking over his body even before he came. Chanyeol shoved his fingers into his mouth again and he was sucking and biting them, desperate for anything that was Chanyeol.

"Fuck," he heard Chanyeol growl out. "So fucking sexy."

_He's thinking of someone else_, Baekhyun reminded himself.

"I won't be able to stop at this rate," Chanyeol warned, a strained chuckle escaping him afterwards. His fingers left Baekhyun's mouth, needing to use both hands to support himself.

Baekhyun only replaced Chanyeol's hand with his own, biting into his thumb to keep from screaming out.

"Say something," Chanyeol demanded, leaning down to whisper harshly in Baekhyun's ears.

_He wants to hear someone else's voice._

Still on the receiving end of the 'silent treatment', Chanyeol decided to assault Baekhyun's mouth with rough kisses, sucking on his tongue and bruising Baekhyun's lips. No longer able to hold back, Baekhyun moaned loudly into Chanyeol's mouth.

_He's imagining that he's kissing her._

Chanyeol pulled back and grabbed onto Baekhyun's hips, bringing his thrusts into full force. "So fucking good."

_He's thinking that it's her._

A certain thrust hit Baekhyun's prostrate so hard that he lost it, coming without even having anything done to his own dick. He released a stream of cum all over his stomach as he felt his head go light and his vision go white.

Chanyeol was still rutting into him, chanting that he was so close to his own release. Baekhyun almost wanted to cover his ears with his hands and would have done so if he didn't felt so limp in Chanyeol's hold.

_He's going to come thinking about_—

"Baek… Baek—. Baekhyun I'm so fucking close."

Byun Baekhyun couldn't believe his ears.

"Fuck. I'm going to—."

Before Chanyeol could finish his sentence, Baekhyun felt himself being filled with hot spurts of Chanyeol's cum, but that was only registered at the very back of his mind, because he was too busy staring at Chanyeol's face, the younger male's eyes shut tightly as he entered his own little euphoria, mouth chanting out Baekhyun's name.

Chanyeol fell on top of him, breathing heavily. They lay there for what seemed like eternity, but in reality was only a couple of minutes. Baekhyun's mind was still foggy, repeating the previous scene like a mantra inside his head.

Chanyeol got up, but instead of leaving, he was once again peppering kisses to Baekhyun's chilled body. Apparently, he had only been taking a break.

They went at it for hours, and although Baekhyun was beyond exhausted, he couldn't stop Chanyeol. He didn't want to stop.

He let his best friend have his way with him, only stopping to take a few breaks. It was like Chanyeol had become addicted, like sex with Baekhyun had become his drug and he was having relapses, withdrawals, because of the previous weeks, and he was making up for it now. It was like Baekhyun had become his drug, and the older knew that he wasn't causing any good to Chanyeol.

It went on until their other band mates noticed that they were back to being close again, temporarily being happy for them. It went on until the others started saying that they were too close, like how Baekhyun would never be seen without Chanyeol. It went on until everyone was worried about how attached Chanyeol was to Baekhyun, but neither of the said two cared.

Everytime Chanyeol asked for him, he would comply. When Chanyeol reached out for him, Baekhyun would more than willingly accept him.

After all, if he closed his eyes, he could almost feel like Chanyeol loved _him_.


End file.
